I went cold turkey on alcohol New Year’s Day 2018. 

I’ve come to accept that my body is aging. For the last several years, my hangovers would linger for almost a day. As a person who loves the concept of productivity, the next days felt wasted. Drinking didn’t feel enjoyable anymore.

When I drank excessively, my drunkenness caused me to be rather ratchet. My behavior also started causing problems for the people around me. I don’t like that. I figured some time-off from alcohol might do me some good. 

The next time I imbibed was in early April when I celebrated my birthday. It was a good three-month break and here are my takeaways from the experience: 

• I’m glad I had a “why.” When I wanted to grab a drink just for the hell of it, I reflected on my recent past with alcohol and thought twice. The terrible feelings I had on the days after I drank too much emerged. I’d then imagine what I’d be doing in lieu of being hungover. Man, even if I wasn’t doing anything, those next days felt so freeing since I wasn’t sick to my stomach. I’m not sure if I didn’t have a why would I have had lasted over 90 days.
  
• I was an emotional wreck the first month. On the first week, I was full of optimism and energy, as if I was able to conquer the world! It was an amazing feeling, like I was on a high.
  
  That, however, didn’t last long. From the highest of highs, my energy went to the lowest of lows. The second and third weeks were dark. I felt depressed, and for a couple of days, I didn’t even want to get out of bed. There was also an undercurrent of violence that wanted to erupt out of me. Everything my husband did ticked me off; it felt like a severe form of PMS that I’ve never experienced before. This couldn’t be normal, but a quick Google search indicated that what I was experiencing could happen been protracted/post-acute withdrawal symptoms or PAWS. 
  
  Luckily, I weathered the stormy energy and my emotions normalized by the end of the first month. I never would have thought that I would have withdrawal issues. But clearly, my brain’s chemistry was connected to alcohol and it needed to re-calibrate due to the absence of it. Scary!
  
• I lost a few pounds and craved sugar. Not sure if it is coincidental or not, but with no changes to my diet (minus alcohol) and exercise, I dropped five pounds during the three months. When I wanted a drink, I often drank sparkling water instead. I did get cravings for sugary things on occasion, so some evenings, I enjoyed a scoop of ice cream or some candy. 
  
• I still had cravings for alcohol, but over time, they became weaker. I think the only weak part of my “why” was that I didn’t designate a timeframe for my sobriety. Did I want to do this for a month, a year, a lifetime? So, on any day, I could decide to drink again. On the up side, everyday that I said “no” to alcohol, the more empowered I felt, like I had control over it, and over time, the cravings dwindled. This new “strength” from sobriety spread into other parts of my life, allowing me to feel like I can tackle even the most difficult things. 

Being sober was challenging for me. As an adult, drinking is often a social matter. It’s so easy to go to happy hour or have a beer or a glass of wine when making dinner. But during the three months, I’m very proud to have conscientiously made many consecutive decisions not to drink and used the days that used to be designated for sobering up to doing other things I enjoyed. 

What I’ve shared has been my experience only. I can’t speak for others’ experiences with sobriety and whether what I’ve gone through has any scientific evidence to it whatsoever. All I know is that when I finally decided to have a bottle of Carlsberg on my 35th birthday (I was in Hong Kong), as I reflected on this three-month journey, it was an overall positive experience that I am considering making it a long-term change in my life.